dude..why do i always have to pick up the kitty litter after you drink?
There's a 34yo winking at me. Why do i find this weird when my bf is a 38yo married man?
a/c is broke at work...just took my panties off at my desk and the janitor saw it...might have a date for later. let you know
there's a booger on my laptop, i suspect it's yours
the guy was wearing a viagra shirt, i knew what i got myself into.
I dont know why the TSA people are looking at me wierd. I mean there is no way i am the only hungover college girl here with nine tally marks on her hand and last nights glitter on her face
This will be amazing. Plus he's going to do a line of cocaine off of the other guy's ass.
I don't like finding out that my fuck buddy is a good person.
Don't remember shit. It was only until I saw the glaze on my forearm that I knew you drove to get donuts last night. I also spent 20$ there apparently
You played "let it burn" by usher 28 times, knocked over the 36 gallon fish tank, and passed out in the kitchen. Yeah...That drunk.
When he saw my tits he said "wow you should be proud.
You don't know scared until you've just begun the first stage of an acid trip till a guy on stilts with a creepy mustache and beard says "enter the Forrest"
I feel horrible. I brought her to your house like a late night pizza delivery and dropped her off.
Stoner thoughts are the only thoughts I want to have now.
Would the comment "Down Goes Frasier" be too inappropriate at this time?
Randomize
