So...we accidentally left a bag of puke in your sister's room. Heads up.
You stuck the head of a rubber chicken you found in her house up your ass and then started running around her living room. Naked.
You don't have to be drunk! I've licked your asshole before
better to have posed nude and lost than to never have posed nude at all...thats what i always say
way to not show up for Habitat for Humanity, real classy...
I saved lives by not driving this morning
then he tried to tell me how many times he had seen Scott's dick. his estimate was about 180 times. he thought I didn't understand.
He fucked me so hard I might have to go to the hospital for internal bleeding
Can I have him when you're done?
Well I just put wine in my tea
I am slightly proud of the fact his mom turns on the dryer located behind the spare bedroom EVERY time we visit!
I was told to keep my leg elevated. I assume it means to keep my legs on the air, it's like I was prescribed to be slutty
Literally just napped at strip club. Don't know how long
He's tying my arms above my head and all I can think is that I should've shaved my armpits
I think it's time to give up this life and become vikings. You in?
You can trust me. I'm unemployed and not wearing pants.
just saw two eagle scouts making out in chic-fil-a
Randomize
