Hm. I declare blue a flavor.
Hit a parked car with a "property of Jesus Christ" bumper sticker. Wrote out five hail mary's and left it on the windshield.
dude, showing up drunk to physics was the best idea ever. I just tripled my participation for the semester. I love st pattys day
do you think theyll let us bring mariachis to the strip club?
is he the 3rd person to bang everyone in our group?
When you gave the girl your number the fat girl was like "take mine....here please take mine"
... why is there a bottle of pee on my headboard?
I went to pick my brother up downtown and I stopped at a red light a homeless old man comes up knocks on the window shows me his penis and then screams money
You were so drunk, you called my cruise control, the "auto pilot" and asked my car politely to take us to Taco Bell.
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
They don't even know who I am but they just woke me up with maracas and invited my boobs to a kegger
there are not enough nopes in the world for that situation.
I don't care if it's 2 inches or 20 I mean dick is dick
My first love was gay too, it's okay.
Have you actually looked at the corn flakes box? I don't think the rooster has a soul.
Randomize
