just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
i half slept with him but i still dont owe you any money
His moose knuckle keeps winkin at me
screw that ipod for my birthday.. i just want a weed brownie the size of my face. that's all.
i want to major in coloring with an emphasis on crayons.
so finals studying is going well?
No, he attached a coozie to his crutches so he can carry his beer around the party.
If you don't come out tonight, who's going to wake us up in the morning because they're fucking in the middle of the room where everyones sleeping?
370HSSV 0773H read that upside down
what are you doing with your life
Was it a good night or a bad night when you have to apologize to someone the next day for trying to fuck them with a turtle?
Saturday morning. Went into a study room excited b/c some1 had left a paper w/ an inspirational quote: YOU ARE cApable of aChieving anything yoU waNT. Then I read the bold letters.....
You okay?
I walked into work with a banana and a loaf of bread
Do you want the fat one with an ok face or the skinny ugly one?
It doesn't matter as long as our shame is in tandem.
I'm horny too so maybe we will both recap our regrets on Sunday
I threw my shoes out of frustration and walked home barefoot... can you help me find my shoes in the morning
I was so drunk I asked my mom if she had always been my mom or if it was someone else for a while
Randomize
