If Andre Agassi did Crystal Meth, what was John McEnroe doing?
just bought a coffee grinder that advertiesed spacious grinding chamber...new nickname for my bedroom?
There's a girl sitting in front of me making a PowerPoint on Jack Bauer.
She volunteers at a homeless shelter. You volunteered to drink 7 day expired milk for $3. No chance. Give up.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Stoned ambition #8. Must learn sign language.
He has until sunday, then my legs are officially closed to him
AND OMG I HOPE YOU ARE GREAT WITH CHILD. COOK THAT BUN!
Apparently you can coat check a keg.
I smell like gasoline and adventure.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is there a polite way to say "Sorry for your head injury but I still want to hook up"?
I spent the last 6 months operating under the assumption that I HADNT fucked a paramedic. I was wrong.
You know, we cock-blocked like 5 people last night. It's like we're her vagina goalies
He called yelling about whhhhhhiskey and enchiladas I heard sirens in the background last time I talked to him b
I thought accidentally shaving off my fingertip while trying to shave my butthole was going to be the most unexpected part of my day, but no
I thought he was a lobster and that the moon was going to pull me through him.
I don't think I should try acid.
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