I dont shave on purpose to keep myself from being slutastic!! it usually works
TXT her NOW! The phone is actually IN her Va-Jay-Jay!!
Just got to costco. Where are you?
Liquor aisle, bring another cart.
She showed me her prom dress from 2001, which still had her date's cum stain on it.
Oh, so that's why you call her jizzarella....
Went biking. Saw homeless guy beating in the park. Thought of you <3
Her husband keeps getting drunk and making out with me. Good news is I found the strep carrier. Bad news is have strep again.
So here i am dipping ice cream in my vodka and watching the bad girls club on demand. This is not ok
The dumpster is full of naked people swimming. I'm going to join.
Thanks for walking over, a conversation about David Bowie's dick as a muppet is exactly what my day was missing.
he was cumming and all I could think about was the pathway of sperm the in penis. thanks a lot nursing
Lol i have proven this trip that I can meet a chick and fuck her within 72 hours no matter where she lives
Kyle's mobile fuck service..... Kinda has a nice ring to it don't you think??
after you left he started opening his bottles by smashing the neck against the edge of the fireplace and pouring beer into his mouth. it was about the manliest thing ive ever seen. its probably how lumberjacks open their beers... if they didnt have their axes handy.
Turns out that fresh outta jail dick is quite something.
He brought me a bottle of Jack, got me off 3 times, & then left. This is the best fakelationship ever!
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