The money shot is kinda like the "The End" part of a children's book isn't it?
I think they gave out some kind of ugly girl scholarship I don't know about...
My jaw hurts. Such a slutty injury..
You didn't see us wave? How could you not? We were all going like 10mph screaming at you. We were stoned and didnt wanna run over pedestrians
Also, my phone autocorrects ENABLER to all caps. I think I drunk text the word too often.
I took her to the bar and boom. All of my past slump busters were there. Shes cool enough to know what that means and said she was afraid they'd eat her so we left.
His hands kept asking for sex, but all I could think was "dude, this is going to ruin my high".
I also have to vacuum the broken noodles out of my suitcase...
His hair looked like he was in a bukaki and then got a perm right after
Get the fuck back here. Your brother taped bottle rockets to the front of his scooter and is bombing around screaming, "Rest in peace, Goose!"
Out of curiosity, do you feel happiness for you, or sadness for ME, that you are the only one I drunk text?
My wife climbed on top of me, fucked my brains out, and gave me money from the ATM. I'm living the dream.
Would it be weird if I bought knee pads and shin guards to fuck in my car?
There is a cooked ham in the washing machine.
Sometimes the most spiritual fucking thing to do is punch somebody in the face.
Randomize
