My phone auto-corrects smirnoff to poisoned. I think it is trying to tell me something.
Is it just me, or does Colt McCoy look like Herbie the Dentist from "Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer"?
he called to tell me the scratches were still on his back. this was in the summer.. still the best hookup
The last thing i remember is saying breakfast beer and carrying the keg to my room and locking the door.
Aaaaand I just watched him face plant in front of the taxi. This is why we don't invite him to margarita night.
I can't remember dinner
Hahaha "rub in the ketchup on your face, It'll just look like blush." some gay waiter said that to you, and you go "good idea!"
turns out it took a Belgian couchsurfer dressed as Heisenberg to rock my world.
You have 4 bottles of kahlua in ur drawers but no sox
We played table tennis, but used tv remotes taped to our foreheads instead of paddles. Every time your opponent scored you took a shot. I'm the current champion as of last night.
Learn from my mistakes, you naive soul: Gay love triangles are just as dangerous as straight love triangles.
I'm a full-grown woman and thusly I expect my sphincters to behave themselves.
Haha. I found pics last week of me getting motorboated by a girl while i was taking a shot. Hahaha in my wedding dress. Classy
Did you mean to say flashlight? Or did your grandpa really give you a fleshlight for your bday?
Shes yelled my World of Warcraft name when we were having sex, I think marriage is next.
I just used a bag of jelly beans as an arm weight...I'm not sure what to think of myself
Randomize
