In retrospect, it was a terrible idea, going down on her with these ulcers in my mouth.
he drank a monster margarita at dinner. had to ask me if it was dollars or minutes that ended in 60.
just wondering who decided to put a cup of throw up in my fridge
shes a 6ft ginger. she brings nothing to the table except for awkwardness
Have your arms or hands ever gone numb after drinking too much?
Wtf did you do last night?
she chugged a bowl of salsa and then gave my ferret weight loss tips. she's like my fucking spirit animal now
My roommate took my designated hickey removing spoon out of the freezer.
So hungover. I dropped my keys and leaning over seemed a terrible idea. Instead I took my shoe off in the middle of the street and use my toes to pick them up. Think I'm a genius.
The cops just came to this party I'm at and ate all of our snacks
Dude just crushed our bbq lays and told us to quiet down
Buying the inflatable beer pong table for the pool was one of the best investments I've ever made
I'll be there with bells on. And by "bells" I mean "jäger bombs". And by "on" I mean "being poured down my gullet".
My date bailed but I got to take a nap so I'm cool with it.
All I got was pictures of my boss and dicks. So, that was the end of snapchat.
I ACCIDENTALLY MURDERED MY COUSIN
HOW DO YOU ACCIDENTALLY MURDER YOUR COUSIN
how do do this?
do what? Keep standing? Choose between 2 guys?
keep making boys cry?
Randomize
