walk of shame with early morning football tailgaters. niice.
They left shortly after you claimed the dirty rug as your mattress and began alternating between singing "Dayman" and "Nightman"
i will pay you if you can come get me. he just suggested that we would have a hockey themed wedding.
took 4 advil with a shot of vodka, figure i'd try to save myself now
She alternated between blowing me and feeding me bites of the sandwich she made for me.
i mean, what better way to remind him of his failures in life than to fuck his roommate/fraternity brother?
It doesn't matter how many times you look in your purse, Your keys are not going to be there. Maybe you left them at the bar.
Maybe they fell out of my pocket last night when I rolled down the hill.
You should imdb "mourning wood" to see what I'm doing with my $80,000 English degree today
I mean thanks for the bj but i wanna forget everything that happened last night between 11 and 5
I came to the party for him. I don't know where he went, but I mentioned being hungry and his housemate brought me a huge tupperware container of berry cobbler. I think I'll stay.
who was i chillin with last night? i woke up in a storage unit
Under no circumstances is tits McGee to make that kind of decision about my life!
Congrats you've received dick pics from an Olympic silver medalist
Would it defeat the purpose of a run if I ran to McDonalds?
Her oh Gods turned into oh god I shouldn't be doing this I'm engaged.
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