I wish they had nachos that got you drunk
a chick just tried to cover her fart by sneezing. it didn't work
This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
So I'm pretty sure when I was giving a Birthday Blow J, he went to grab my boob, but grabbed a fat roll and asked "You're not wearing a bra?"
beer for lunch on the first day back to school.... too soon?
How many 'remember name' entries is it inappropriate to have in one's cell phone?
I made a google map for "places I got blow jobs"
The girl I hooked up with in exchange for Ramen freshmen year is living with the girl I currently wish to bang.
Try oodles of noodles this time.
One my way home. There was too much fog, strobe lights, and cocaine for my taste.
I think I just ate eggs off of a plate covered in cocaine.
I asked him why he was eating an entire can of refried beans, the only answer I got was "revenge"
Stop saying "make it happen". I'm not gonna say "hey, you should get naked with your sister and roll around together while I penetrate you both"
Yes. Do not say that. That will not make it happen.
Still. Make it happen
I don't need you anyway! I have puppies and booze!
Nothing says I love you as your fiancé bringing back home your drunk brother from his own stag party
Ahh yes. I lost my pants and swimming suit and phone charger. And I've found out who has them all even while hungover. Successful day. Nice party too.
Randomize
