I would do horrible things to your vagina.
Prove it.
Question: does he have any sense of self image? He looks slightly like he crawled out of the Euphrates after living as a fish for 20 years
Scratch that. Lia's boy toy's brother has a gorilla costume. This is gonna be great.
I don't remember. I think I elluded to the fact that I would buy him a dildo for his birthday.
Ill bet we could have atleast fucked a girl who fucked a guy who has fucked tara reid. That's a famous circle right?
He was carrying a rolled up carpet saying he was saving it for tomorrow's Walk of Fame.
If anyone from work finds out about us I will rip your dick off, sew it to your forehead and feed your balls to you like little grapes
Roommate is high and swore off off the diet. Said she wants to make everyone else fat since it'd be easier. She spent today baking 3 dozen brownies for the office tomorrow and is already down to 24.
Dude, you chugged an entire bottle of tomato sauce and got us free drinks for the night. No way was I gonna stop you.
Although I commend your efforts to keep my penis away from her, your sister is now booty walking up my stairs. Good game though, good game.
Oh okay. That's fine. I'll buy us both dinner when you bail me out
It's a post jail date
Like 50% of me thinks it'll be weird, 25% of me is curious & 25% of me is horny
I'm on A4A looking at dick pics while the CEO is on the phone trying to convince me not to leave the company
I went home with him again and he LEFT HIS OWN HOUSE at 2 in the morning while I was IN THE BATHROOM.
What happened lastnight it looks like I had sex with edward scissor hands....my back is so messed up
my bad i broke a mirror over your back
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