if sarah has 12 dollars and spends 6 of it on cheap booze how much will she spend on hangover food the next morning?
4 on the dollar menu at mcdonalds
mom cant say that college never taught us math
This is even worse then that time I fucked a guy just because he had air conditioning.
This girl did not understand, once police sirens go on, road-head needs to STOP
Im so tired of dysfunctional exs fucking up my relationships with future dysfunctional exs
I am in macy's and just straight up heard an old lady taking a crap in her depends.
dude to be honest with you there is a used condom that ive just left on my floor for three days
you have got to get your shit together
I was looking at your puke while I was peeing in it the next morning and that ceasar salad did not treat you well
On NPR this morning, farmers are feeding weed to pigs. The result: pot bacon. Life just got better.
I think the universe has a conglomeration of sentences reserved only for me.
well what the fuck is the POINT of teetotal mardi gras
So apparently I initiate sex in my sleep
I just had sex with the male version of myself. looks, mindset, even our boob to dick ratio was the same
He is more interested in finding his sweater than he is in having sex with me. It better be a great fucking sweater.
It reeks of weed and poor life decisions in here
Worst wingman u don't do ANYTHING but laugh at my incompitant shyness
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