She described it as "a squirrel being hit by a hurricane"
Why is there a shirtless guy in Walgreens and why is he probably looking for the same thing I am?
I'm high, and her 2,100 tagged pictures annoy me even MORE. I wish it had a google searchbar so I could type in "cleavage pics" to get to the point.
Im beginning to think that if I ever write an autobiography it will have to be mostly fill in the blank.
You walked in with a firecracker and a doughnut then demonstrated what a lazy job he did fucking you
Yeah I had to push her down the hallway to the hotel room in a luggage carrier. The guy at the desk told me goodluck
GOOD NIGHT DREAM OF ALCOHOL SNO CONES
DRAW HIM A PICTURE OF SOME FUCING AWESOME THING. LIKE A UNICORN OR SOME SHIT. FANTASTIC.
Idk man, most things I eat are even better than I expected. Like when I drunkenly put mac and cheese on a slice of cheese pizza or when I soberly put mac and cheese into a Taco Bell burrito.
He handcuffed himself to the keg... D is hooking up with him anyway.
Last night was a "wash hands with dog shampoo" kind of night
after attempting to eat a candy cane bigger than my hand i have determined there's no way to eat this that doesn't seem erotic
I just want to eat Taco Bell and throw it up on his doorstep.
Caitlin, you were laying in your bed feeding your dog ritz chips and singing a whole new world at 4am loud enough your neighbors came over an asked you to stop.
I love my life
I just saw a guy in a zippo shirt buy 2 gallons of fire starter fluid and then proceed to smoke a cigarette. I feel like hes got some big plans for his tuesday.
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