it was like getting a handjob from mrs. butterworth
The sex was so not worth the four dollars it cost to drive over the bridge
I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
im trying to catch a child molester. call you later.
Even though he is humpbacked he is really good in bed.
It was like god placed me in his bed and said," here's your shot girl. Don't mess this up." And I looked at god and laughed in his face.
French fry pizza
Are you brilliant or just really high?
Can't it be both?
he stopped midthrust to put on his sex playlist and the first song was 'can you feel the love tonight'
where do you find these guys?
I like to think of you as more a magic eight ball of my life's journey?
You both sound like you need to get shit faced, fight it out, and have makeup sex.
After I came she just held my balls until I fell asleep. It was like adult swaddling. Magical...
dude ur drinkin a beer not ta capri sun. lose the straw
Why are we so great
Like I'm def going to a therapist but I wouldn't change a thing about us except maybe the peeing
You're a hot mess, you know that?
At least I'm a FUN hot mess. Like a train crash full of pizza, fireworks and glitter.
She passed out in my baby sister's room so we put her in one of my grandma's diapers, put a pacifier in her mouth, put her in my sister's crib and took pictures.
Randomize
