Being hungover naked and coloring my hair. I guess I am not naked I have black latex gloves on. Give me a call.
im coming over.
I'm getting very good at recycling my hook ups. So even though i'm having more sex... I'm the same amount of slutty.
Yes! I like to call that picking from the buffet!
I'm really proud of her, she waited until she was on tiled floor to start puking on the ground
she said 'i love fried rice', threw a condom at me and passed out naked.
peeing on that welcome mat was like, the highlight of my week
my nipple ring is gone but someone was nice enough to replace it with a paperclip
I just finished deleting miscellaneous contacts from my phone ... time for a HIV test!
Give me one reason I shouldn't put the phrase "sex emotions" into my essay.
No.
Oh wait looks like my cousin is getting deported THERE'S HOPE FOR THIS CHRISTMAS YET
Dude he did say "let's go cougar hunting" and you KNEW your mom was going out last night...so it's kind of your own fault for not coming
No like you've drunkenly persistently tried to take your shirt off in the middle of a park filled with children. You had already thrown your bra at my crotch.
It turned from Netflix and chill to cringeworthy YouTube videos and chill. At least he's honest.
I'm about to do something based solely on the fact that a fortune cookie told me to. This may not end well.
isnt it crazy how for years we were living our owns lives, and now only a wall seperates us?
stop. eating. my. shrooms.
I dont know. He's too private. After you fuck him find out his secrets.
Randomize
