S and I had anal without a condom because I'm on my rag but he didn't finish. Should I still take Plan B?
You came in at two thirty, wearing your underwear and a tie then asked where you could find a sombrero and a pair of stilletos that would fit your men's size thirteen feet.
The dean held back my hair as I was puking after graduation. That means so much more than a diploma and a handshake.
i'll booty call him tonight after the radiohead concert, that way he can see his favorite band and his favorite vagina all in one night.
New reason to drink: alcohol makes soda taste like goddamn gold.
Note to self: Never spend $8 on a liter of rum again
It's a good thing vaginas don't have taste buds
I don't really feel bad about it, but I legit just squirted in the back of an Uber and it makes me think how many times has this happened before?!?!
On a scale from 1-10 how wrong is it to request "I Hit It First" at my ex's wedding reception?
Definite 12.2 but worth it.
Left Las Vegas at 2:30 am, woke up at 11 AM at a Barstow gas station with the Valet from Ceaser' palace snoring in the backseat and no memory of how we got there. I felt like Raoul Fucjing Duke right then and there.
I forgot to lock the door last night. I woke up cuz a guy opened my bedroom door, asked me who I was and where he was. And there was another guy standing in the living room asking me if I knew what apartment "Travis" lives in.
I must be really high or they really did just bring me a banana split instead of a burger
Slowly dying because of my period and my phone is mocking me because I have 69% battery
You're like a care bear with a big cock & a sexual prowess that would put the mighty Thor to shame.
I’m not saying you’re wrong, I’m just saying he’s denying what you’re saying.
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