Jerry, you need to find god
Britney fell asleep on the couch in the foier, got up stripped then pissed on the floor. Then got dressed and went to sleep in it. Also downstairs toilet clogged. Not me. I will be gone by the time you get home from work. Have fun.
Just farted cum and thought I shit myself. Crisis averted tho
she just announced that once she was paid to deep throat a light saber with a mint flavored condom on it. i'm speechless.
Just found a quarter that has been stuck to my boob since at least last night.
Walking out of our apartment this morning to go to class, I saw a sticky note on the front door that said "get tested." The door was unlocked so did you bring some stranger back last night? I'm assuming you weren't referring to me...
I also like to call Halloween "Mystery Fuck Day"
Honestly it's a super power. I can try it a million different ways and nothing happens. Donnie casually says "ok this is now a toppless party" and it all kicks-off
They're fighting and it sounds intense. Cross your fingers for their demise
Toss in some raw meat and play heavy metal music. It will insight violence.
They've taken all the lighthearted fun out of S&M.
The bottle brush for the bong worked really well to clean the brownies out of the waffle maker.
he had a bulletproof vest and a pocket full of lollipops! how was i suppose to say no.
woke up between a girl's legs. make your own conclusion.
I aimed for bossy but it came out slutty
Of course he did! You’ve seen my tits, you know he didn’t stand a chance!
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