Just crushed a xanax into my chewing gum. Its gonna be a long, fucking up flight...
hes wearing the same tie today that i tied him up with last night.i wanna go home
I just found my coat check number in my underwear.
He offered me a ride home but i walked. He lives by an elementary school so a 10 yr old safety officer helped me across the street during my walk of shame
there's a guy pushing a keg up the street in a shopping cart. you have to love graduation
Monday: I just need a drink Tuesday: OMG no more this week! Wednesday: oh shit how'd I get drunk Thursday: I'm glad you've stopped the pretenses
Single person behavior: I wanted a cookie but was too lazy to make or go buy any, so I let cookie dough ice cream melt and ate all the chunks. Pantsless.
Give me one reason I shouldn't put the phrase "sex emotions" into my essay.
No.
she never specifically said NOT to fuck her boyfriend so technically we can still be best friends
Just finished my quantum homework in ladies room writing with eyeliner. I am the party/physics champion.
Man, I wish they all looked like that. Your vagina deserves to have a nice frame around it, and God's signature at the bottom.
Finally buying a camera. Missed out on recording a 3way last night. Hindsight. Ugh.
Fuck that guy and his dumb haircut and awesome dick
Just tried to do a line with a snorkel I cut off... that is how my Aruba trip is going!
She flashed us last time and pissed all over the floor this time. I'm scared to invite her back.
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