Theres this fat girl in desperate need of the proactive factory in my class and as i watch her shovel food in her face I am struggling to not only keep down my meager lunch but also to stay straight. Eliza Dushku couldnt even get my flacid dick to move
im learning from these one night stands last time i came in her this time i came on her AND deleted every contact in her phone!
If Jimminey Cricket were here with me he would be so disappointed.
tell me how a rose bowl party involves waking up to find a raccoon in my kitchen cabinet eating my oreos the next morning?
I thought his dick was headless. then I pulled back the foreskin.
Its not personal, its just business. I'm the Donald Trump of blowjobs.
Nope. Daytime is texting time. Night time is you send me naked pictures time.
Malt liquor mondays...better in theory.
Bro, I just googled 36 year old pussy so when I do see it I won't be shocked.
It's 4/20 of course I'm going to smoke in the portapotty and be ripped outta my mind at the lung cancer walk.
I just shaved my "bikini area" into a fucking pizza slice
I just wish my penis was a person so I could give him a high five.
I woke up on my girls floor with a pound of muenster cheese in my shirt pocket
My ex boyfriend just amazon primed me a vibrator...guess I seemed stressed?
We're going to watch the inauguration and fuck. Or fuck and watch the inauguration, I'm not picky, just get your ass over here by ten.
Randomize
