so i know my style isnt the best ever but u should have told me i was wearing two different shoes
I'm taking a dump and eating a fortune cookie and it said "Force it to be successful"
2 nights ago she wants to see other people, tonight she wants to have a threesome. The GOOD kind of threesome. So... win?
Woo Hoo! Just saw Asian kids with rocker mullets. Tried to get a picture on my phone, but you know how those ninjas are.
the best things in life are free. have that freshly fucked look and doing the walk of shame by HIS girlfriend.....priceless
Latest life lesson : don't accidentally send an "I nutted on her tramp stamp" text to your tattoo-less girlfriend. Oops.
My social work teacher just told our class about her bicurios adventures in college
is she hot?
She is now
I wasn't on board with that statement until "home made dinosaurs"
I got 70 on my final, or put differently, I got a "still graduating" on my final.
explain the broken jalepenos in my underwear drawer?
Does it qualify as sexting if you're both pretending to be fictional characters?
I'm not sure whether to be proud of you or weirded out.
Fuck you, if it wasn't for us going to the city, she would be using me as a human sex toy all day.
I was giving you head in the kitchen, and when I looked up you were eating a quesadilla.
I'm a shining star this evening. Dancing with a cane in rite aid now. I should be kept under survaillance.
I am in no place to make rational decisions, but right now i want you inside me
Randomize
