Pre-pickelized cucumber-hand invasion!! RUN!!!!!!!!!!
We glued Jenga blocks together, called it "magic blocks" and sold it to the stoners for $50 and a bottle of Henny
Bank of America: Available balance is $546.25 on 03/04/2011 for account 8428. Go online for details. TextSTOPtoStop/TextHELPforHelp
i loe djcudia fjxos rue.
Thank god the bicycalist i hit was on drugs
I am eating deep fried cinnamon rolls and I found a lighter in my sprinkles. I miss you.
Discovered that a nalgene holds an entire bottle of wine. Going mobile. Come find me.
Long story short he broke into a preschool and threw all their cones into a tree.
1) I'm a decent drunk texter. 2) My world is spinning. 3) I'll give you a dollar and a hug for a glass of water. 4) I love you. 5) Example: your penatrive ways are overwhelming my alternative lyfestyle. 6) That is all.
7) Noodle arms: engage
The example was me just using big words while hammered. You're welcome. Ambidextrious. I spelled it right.
Dude. Steinbecking. It's when you double-fist coffee and alcohol to help you meet a writing deadline.
But truly, sorry about your empty vagina
Thanks boo.
you got into a really intense arguement about protecting bees. it was wierdly arousing.
You tell anyone I'm rocking out to Pitbull in an economy, base-model car, I'll kill you.
Every time I see this chick she's swimming naked at a pool party. That's gotta mean something right?
Remember that time we were together? Yeah, I don't miss that.
I just googled "how to blow an uncircumcised guy" and did serious research. That's how badly I want to fuck him.
You misuse your internet privileges.
Randomize
