Good news! Whoever used this stall at Target earlier...not pregnant!
i am officially better prepared for a hangover tomorrow than i was for christmas.
just went trash diving in my work clothes for weed. A&E's intervention here i come.
the beat of "birthday sex" is shockingly similar to my dry heaving rhythm. it's making me nauseous all over again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
1.) You left the rest of your whiskey here 2.) I drank your whiskey 3.) then made a steam roller out of the bottle 4.) Everything tastes like whiskey
officially hit rock bottom.. been yelling through the vent in my room to my little brother trying to convince him to get me water for the past two hours. i fear feeling the full effect of my hangover if i stand.
Was my mother there when I broke the stipper pole?
You may want to re-read your sent texts from last night. You were texting me about your "fire shits" spelled 6 different ways between 3 and 5:30 AM.
You've gotta make sure the carpets match the drapes, though.
I am not dying my bush blue.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Gays age differently than straights. 29 is like 45 in gay years. Next year I'll be in adult diapers and applying for medicaid.
I think I've been inadvertently participating in a contest to see how many times I can show up to work hungover in my first year of teaching. And I'm the only participant. Not sure if I'm winning or losing.
I'm watching Part of Your World now and I'm crying and I feel like I'm floating right along with her. This. This right here is some drunken Disney Magic
Currently eating Dominos at the bar high as shit so that's how homework is going
I blame everything on you. My broken heart, my fucked up liver and my twisted mind.
WHY DOES MY BOYFRIEND'S BROTHER HAVE TO BE SO FUCKING HOT
Randomize