Why are you such a perv today?
This is a lot to handle
Oh shh
I'm kidding you prude take a joke
we were exchanging secrets last night... she told me about how she put markers in her vaj in middle school. found a keeper.
I gave them both handjobs at the same time. Felt like I was skiing
even if everyone didnt know them screaming eskimo brothers and high fiveing over my head kinda gave it away
She loves me even though she knows all Ive done. Shes kind of like jesus.
So the answer to your question is yes, I was masturbating on the roof of my building.
You went around chanting "dinosaur period" and drinking tomato soup from the can.
im like basted in vodka, i went tanning and it was like i was an alcoholic turkey being cooked in a locker of doom
Just thought you should know the man you CHOSE to father your children has once again fallen asleep on the toilet. thanks mom
My addiction to golf is getting out of hand....I just caught myself swinging my dick like a putter while peeing.
I may have just poured a honey apple beer onto a dried apple slice to rehydrate it. This is my day.
You told him about your cats? I told his friend to put his dick in my mouth, and you talked about cats!?
I used your vibrator when you were out of town. Now I know why you always come out of your room smiling.
Fuck. I did it again. I plugged in my toaster and walked away thinking it needed to preheat. I am dumb.
Also, in case they didn’t tell you… there is a chicken living in your old room… so I would assume cleaning that is now on them
Randomize
