i half slept with him but i still dont owe you any money
I just put lube in Matt's bellybutton. He looks unhappy.
all i need in life is blowjobs and white cheddar cheezits
he then started listing things that have been up his butt, never drinking in boys town again
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I figure that my generation of my family needs an alcoholic. I'll take that burden.
I just wanted to let u know that I called the taco people and informed them what the fuck is up.
I just watched Matt try to put on a pillowcase thinking it was a t-shirt.
We shouldn't eat pizza in the pool
We r drinking tequila out a glass bottle and smoking weed underwater, pizzas the least of our concern
Trying not to look at her chest is like trying to not hear a fire engine racing by.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You came home And decided to make beer battered bacon... That's why there was smoke
My boobs are literally freaking out because I've been wearing a bra for more than three hours....I need to go out more...
I'm about to eat a 2month old weed brownie I just found in my lax duffel bag. will you answer if I call you in like an hour and a half
Chipotle farts are not good for seducing boys.
Why are you hurting?
Tried to drink all the beer in Nashville last night....failed.
Seriously though, I walked in and he was holding my cat in the air singing "the circle of life"...
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