How crunk are you?
I'm a Tom Selleck. Zero being Tipper Gore and max being the Bush twins
I drunkenly recorded an episode of Family Matters last night. I took a shot everytime Carl Winslow had a mustache.
Those 2 guys from the sonic commercial will be virgins for life.
just taught 3 girls from korea how to fist pump on chat roulette.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
no one should ever give us hovercrafts
I just sat in the Taco Bell drive-thru waiting for a trash can to take my order. Yes, that high.
you were on all fours yelling at the earth to stop spinning.
Someone else needs to become the bad example in our group
But you wear shame so well
I just want to know who nailed the chicken nugget to the door.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I really resent how she stayed home and ruined my plans to watch sci-fi and masturbate.
I will kill you in such a brutal way if you ever de-pants me again on the dance floor it will make the stock market ticker
If a raisin and a desert had a bastard child that would be the inside of my mouth right now
I'm sorry you're hurting. Would a picture or my erect penis help?
If I ever drink whiskey again make sure I don't eat the plastic cups that I'm drinking them from.
Is it totally acceptable to fuck a co-worker even though we don't speak the same language?
Why do you even have to ask me that question
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