thus making me awesome and them whores
Note to self: soco dudes get amusinly uncomfotable when I moan at the urinal.
doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
my Prof for my bio lab has his lab coat collar popped. it's 8 am and im too hungover for this guy
they just started filling water ballons with vodka.
on my way.
Not sure if he was actually hot or hot in a "he brought a live chicken to the party" kinda way but I got his # regardless
My neighbor caught me peeing on his rose bushes at 2 in the morning while wearing my Santa hat. My sex appeal has never been higher.
I gave him a bj as a thank you for helping. I think that's good.
WE HAVE WINE WHERE ARE YOU GUYS WE ARE BY THE GIANT EAGLE
Don't judge me 👊🏼 his dick just whispers my name
Good to know. If our sexting moves past early 1900s vernacular, I'll be sure to use that once or twice.
I have no idea, I usually just project my awkwardness out like a mating call until it draws other awkward members of the opposite sex out from the bushes
He was referring to me as "Teenage Dream" the whole night
I choose my mates solely based on size and ability. No cuddles. No sleep overs. Definitely no repeats.
The best walk of shames are on the highway
Randomize
