i want to be waterboarded, just to see what all the fuss is about
i waited two years for her to sleep with me. it just didnt seem worth it.
she lost her virginity three hours after you dumped her.
are you serious?
some guy just pulled a dress out of a fax machine...I have no idea what the hell is going on
If you're missing hair this morning, i'm sorry in advance
We've been fucking since Friday.... This is the most committed non-committed relationship I've ever been in
Sometimes i wish my penis was detachable that way i could take it off sometimes so i wouldnt get into these situations
I wonder if he has realized that I have poured all if those shots he bought into the tip jar
That was the #1 scariest moment in my life. I have full trust in you, I let you bite my penis for god sake.
can we for just one second remember that I played with a homeless man's rat at st marks?
I found out he put two potatoes in a jar because he wants to make his own vodka.
I can't believe you guys got into a sword fight over a chicken nugget
Oh, so that's where all the scratches came from...
I was just trying to be a good friend but in retrospect I probably shouldn't have pepper sprayed you.
No. You're getting a Viking funeral and I'm pawning your shit.
His exact words: "I don't have anything you can't treat with antibiotics."
I've amended my previous statement: I'm not allowed to put in my two weeks till I ask out the waitress. Now I have motivation on two levels
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