She seriously needs to find another hobby other than bouncing on cock.
Just took a beer bong out of snuffaluffagus's trunk. Your move
it was literally the size of a crayloa marker. i didnt know what to do with it so i just sat there
After he came inside me, he made us hold hands and pray that I wasn't pregnant.
gymnastic barn sex. fuck i wish i hadn't blacked out
We don't have any ice, so I'm using the frozen cognac to reduce the swelling on Abby's toe.
No you don't understand. This tree is really alive. Like in Pocahontas.
I just found a piece of squished oatmeal cream pie in my armpit. So very sad.
A special kind of bond is formed between two people when they act as a pee shield for one another for drunken pisses in an alleyway
Are we at that point yet where I can just say "I want you to sit on my face"? If not, want to go out for "drinks"?
I just set up a proportion to calculate how much Jolly Rancher vodka I can make with the limited amount of Jolly Ranchers I have. Finally, real-life application of math.
Don't try to sleep with work colleagues because he won't be able to get it up and you won't be able to look him in the eye ever again
I made it 1 week... 5 business days at my new job before sleeping with my coworker.
I grabbed the pretzel bag with my toes last night. I think that day of yoga had paid off.
I hate when pretentious people talk bad ab corn dogs
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