Is that you in the white hat?
Fine suit yourself
yay, now i'm not the only homewrecker.
yeah but i stopped sleeping with him after i found out he was married.
I don't know what's more sad having a rewards account at a liquor store or already racking up 273 dollar points since january
I'd love to come and give you a massage, but we already duck taped my keys to the ceiling...
Im debating on how to word my craigslist post so i dont get arrested...
Wheres my "thanks for using birth control effectively and not contributing to the downfall of society" card.
Was awful. Wedding photos taken by a river with used syringes floating past. Had to ask the bride to put down a can of rum to have her photo taken.
Almost just got kicked out of a bar because the locals spilled beer everywhere when we taught them to shotgun.
I just hit the bong during the whole bday song then blew the candles out with my exhale.
I have to be more responsible. I've dropped three lighters into my bong today.
My boyfriend just asked what time I was coming over. As soon as my old BF unchains me. I think he ran away.
Part of me really wants this picture, but the other part of me knows if he is really this drunk, he could be sodomizing a lamp and not know it
Don't blame me. My vagina leads me astray.
I'm on the porch day drinking and the neighbor is in his yard screaming about his amazing sandwiches, maybe we should move.
i cant hook up i'm covered in egg rolls
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