Oh my god you would drunk register for a marathon.
I got tired of walking to the bathroom that I decided to throw up in a cup. I now have 3 cups full of vomit on top of my mini fridge
reason #14 for loving my boobs...just got out of a 40mph over the limit speeding ticket thru a work zone. i dont think the cop knew i even had a face
I met him yesterday and now he's wanting to hold hands and kiss in public. i hate this
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she has a picture of her daughter riding a giant rooster.. of course i want to make obscene cock jokes
Ever have a day where u just waNna wake up get a blow job eat food and chill I just want today to be that day
Ugh he's texting me.
Tell him you're no longer interested in what he has to offer; his shitty personality outweighs his sexual prowess.
She was kinda cute. So long as you don't mind neck tattoos and bad life choices.
I hope after we constantly bang for 2 days straight we can agree to be friends again
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My hair is short now so it will be easier to give you alot more blow jobs
I'm going to take this text and frame it on my mantle
and then i signed some dudes back with a turkey hand print in honor of thanksgiving
People are stripping in McDonalds. Do I join?
YES.
I just wanted to be nice to your dick and you are rhyming at me.
Hey, before I head out, whats your policy on casual drug use and one night stands?
i read his ps3 instant messaging thing... he's meeting a guy to have sex. i think your boyfriend's gay
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