His vagina is bleeding blood all over the court
the bus pole looks like a man who feels guiltyty about something
I just realized that when I walk away people probably say "wow she really has a drinking problem" and sadly it doesn't bother me.
Whenever I'm sad I just imagine if babies were born with mustaches...
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
He looked me straight in the eye when he was fingering me last night...it was very serial killer.
I wish i could 80s montage me losing weight
Why do I feel like the only way for this trip to end is alcohol poisoning?
He waited exactly 18 minutes to booty call me after his break up.
Let's get one thing straight; we aren't in a relationship. We fuck and occasionally go to subway.
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
I brought a guy home then decided no. Took him back to the bar and said "I'm going to drop you where I found you. Have fun"
I gave them the 'I used to fuck your son' discount.
Oh my god there's only so much masturbating one can do before one wants to fucking cry
I had to puke in a ditch beside a cow pasture and like 50 cows just stood there and watched. I could feel the judgment.
I'm at the point in my life where I'm gonna sell my eggs for cash
Twist bend and done? Jesus that sounds like a seventh grade hand job.