Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

ADVERTISEMENT

ADVERTISEMENT

ADVERTISEMENT

ADVERTISEMENT

(651): View more from Minnesota

I'm a simple man, with a social life most psychopaths would cringe at

Fav 4 1102 1573
share tweet
(954): View more from Florida

I hope you fall in a pool of honey in an immensely populated region of bears.

Fav 14 5354 1420
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(443): View more from Maryland

He just said "Chunky" very loudly in his sleep.

Fav 27 1764 5234
share tweet
(315): View more from New York

idk if you're aware of this...but we could potentially have the greatest hate sex...ever.

Fav 11 9077 1465
share tweet
Is This New Dating App Elitist…Or Genius?
Read it at the TFLN blog
(516): View more from New York

I think I should just go up to him and say, "before I invest time in this could I just take a look at your penis?"

Fav 38 7279 1532
share tweet
(305): View more from Florida

What's bad is when she said "what hobo did you steal this dick from?"

Fav 8 1132 4027
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(978): View more from Massachusetts

Dear room mates I tried to shotgun pam in the kitchen. It is slippery. Please be careful. That is all. Love you.

Fav 5 3163 1595
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(361): View more from Texas

Everyone was passed out so I turned off the lights and locked all the doors. I also took the chicken sandwich in the microwave as payment.

Fav 1 1508 696
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(724): View more from Pennsylvania

It was a bad idea to take ecstasy with cats in the house. No animal likes being touched that much. Let me know how your eye feels tomorrow

Fav 0 10 31
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT