Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(206): View more from Washington

We walked past a group of guys in front of a bar last night and they claimed, I quote: Wow, we'd actually have to work for that.

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(302): View more from Delaware

I'm giving you permission to use the abortion money to pay for your DUI.

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(369): View more from California

I was so high I couldn't tell if they were goosebumps or herpes.

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(678): View more from Georgia

If the first sentence isn't something about weed or the nature of choclate I'm skipping class.

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29 People Confess The Worst Example Of Dirty Talk They’ve Ever Heard
Read it at the TFLN blog
(516): View more from New York

The party theme was heirs and heiress's. Most guys came in polo shirts but he came as the "arch duke of vagina".

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(803): View more from South Carolina

A 300 lb dude in a sundress yelling bible verses while wearing a raggedy anne wig is just as funny as I thought it would be. Thank you san francisco.

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(709): View more from Newfndlnd, Labradr

i think i had to give the cab driver my id to get home last night because i couldnt talk.

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(+27): View more from South Africa

I can't wait for the day Google doesn't remind me that I got arrested for having 3 shots called 'frog cum' lined up in front of me.

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(302): View more from Delaware

Did I, at any point last night, say I was dying?

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