I dont abuse you, i just hit you while we have sex
I think I am morally bankrupt
I'm at Home Depot to get supplies to fix the wall we cracked by fucking too hard against the bookshelf.
Okay do all 29 year olds have erectile dysfunction or just the two I've slept with?
19 Unhappily Married People Confess The Red Flags They Ignored
So his mom walked in the kitchen while I was sucking him off and just casually suggested that "I'd need a glass of water after that"
It doesn't matter how many beers you've had, it's unacceptable to piss in someone's helmet after a playoff win.
Do not shit in our house. There is no TP. I am walking to get more, if I do not return, I have probably died of dysentery after my last wagon wheel got stuck in a gulch. Tell Martha and Lou Ann that I love them, and that I passed away doing the Lord's work.
Is it malicious or apart of the healing process if I wipe my ass with his toothbrush?
We were simultaneously boning chicks 3 feet away from each other. Do you realize how much that upped our 15 year friendship?
These 23 People Destroyed Their Entire Lives In An Instant
I praised you last night for winning a chug off...you thanked me with a ridiculously hard headbutt. Thanks dick.
Yup. Dog walker, house sitter and mistress to the rich, bored and bi-curious. I've got a nice little operation running.
Totally just railed SuperGirl for my birthday. Best Girlfriend EVER!
Welp, I've officially cried in every Chipotle bathroom in the city. Correlation or causation?
I just let my boss bend me over his desk and spank me. I think that is some sort of American dream.
We had sex and I never took my mets hat off... I feel like Duda knows and approves.