Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
My 11 year old cousin is wearing a Jane Austen fan club t shirt. I'm trying not to tear into her, but I'm five coronas deep and losing control.
Just did lines off a tackle box. Love Montana.
I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
She went into the basement and sang to my cat for three hours....she actually has a beautiful voice....
You wrote me a letter and I cannot make out anything you wrote except the last sentence which says "tell the wolf ill meet him at sunset and that I'm sorrry"
She's grinding on a deaf black man and I'm the interpreter.
I dont think a "sorry ive slept with most of your teammates" text will do much
I think theres a high possibility i could be flammable.
Hung over does not do it justice. I am hung like a horse over. I am hungover and over and over. I am hung, drawn and quartered fucking over. They just told me I can't keep my sunglasses on in the office. Fuck drinking with you people.
You told them that the brownies were safe, and then pointed to a passed out Ryan and said "see?"
There should be a company that sends nadgrams. They're like candy grams except the recipient gets kicked in the balls.
Fair warning birthday party last night avoid kitchen & upstairs bathroom if you value your remaining sanity
I DID NOT GO INTO HOURS OF STRENUOUS LABOR FOR YOU TO LOOK LIKE A DOMINATRIX BARMAID ON A WEEKDAY. AT LEAST SAVE IT FOR THE WEEKEND GDI.
This is why we can never be just regular friends. The shit we do is not regular
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