just to let you know I saw you texting some Kim chick, and facebook saying she's ugly... good job you're gay now
We got a party bus for the nite. I found out the hard way why stripper poles are meant for girls.
Only I would come home from a random banging with beer and watermelon
but you must be fair and judge his penis by normal penis standards and not let your vision be clouded by the rare gem of a penis you have recently encountered
Jim came in did 3 body shots of her she said "I like your tongue" and they left. I swear to god its deja vu he's done it before
The last thing I remember was doing a line in the shape of Texas
i wish i could tell my students that all of their lessons plans were brought to them by captain morgan and diet coke. it's like seasame street, only for high schoolers being taught by a student teacher.
I'm horny too so maybe we will both recap our regrets on Sunday
Dude you better come get your girl, she's sitting here eating a tub of pasta salad muttering to herself about gypsies.
Ok, now help me add to my topless picture collection, i'm going to make myself a calendar
I hooked up with a guy named Quan.. I literally hit the Quan
Went as "Party on, Wayne." And left as, "Partied out Wayne in a foot boot with new medical bills." Fuck Halloween...and vodka.
I should be in a better mood, I just went home and had a quickie on my lunch break.
I had a sandwich.
Just called to hear your voice and talk about pizza.
Ohhhhhh, that night......I need to stop drinking, almost all of my conversations that take place Wed thru Sun after 8:30 are one blurry haze.
Randomize
