So how was he last night?
Five-minute foot-long.
Also, I had a dream I had a ray gun and woke up holding my dick.
My goal for tonight: make tomorrow as awkward as humanly possible.
The poor thing was so drunk they wheeled his motorcycle into the bar. I just dropped him off to pick it up. The best walk of shame ever.
he looks SO much like Drake, I feel like an extreme groupie every time we have sex.
Please don't place wagers on my sex life unless you are giving me a cut. With my current sluttiness I feel like I deserve 40% for how much money you'll make
I can't even express how horny I am. The English language isn't equipped for what I'm plotting.
Oh jesus...leave it to you to hit on not one but two guys who can't fuck you till marriage.
I don't know. I'm drunk and dressed as a pirate but ill do the math tomorrow morning.
I want to be a supportive friend to her, but I also want to sleep with her ex now that he's single.
I think after tonight I'm 85% lesbian
FYI, his "son" is a Chihuahua.
2017 is gonna be explosive... Already watching fireworks out the window while shit my brains out. Happy Ew Year
Do you think if I explain to her I want to have loud, unprotected sex with her sister she'll understand?
We need a kiddie pool and lots of cornstarch
Randomize
