U dropped me off n it hit me, i made it inside for exactly shit thirty on the nose, another minute n i would of had brown trowsers
If I say "It's good enough" and I'm not talking about a sandwhich, that's your queue to stop me, you're supposed to be my friend.
you said you get the best orgasms off Pez dispensers. how do you think he felt????
Someone's playing Limp Bizkit out loud on the train. I think the decade reset it self.
He just found another high guy at wal-mart. There now friends. His friend is eating a cupcake
College is a time for personal growth. Meaning it's time to start using those pickup lines on randos at dive bars.
Sorry there's no emoticon for I got my period all over a guy's bed so I had to improvise. There isn't even a bed one
Hows the party lookin?
At a live sex show right now. Not sure about the employee party
There are days when you go to throw something in your bedroom trash can and realize the only things in there are a used condom, a Lime-arita can and a muffin wrapper.
Is it too early in the day to ask a nipple-related question?
She's the queen of dating. She managed to get a date with a guy who saw her puke five times in two hours.
Last night I had a sex dream about Trudeau, he hasn't even been prime minister for 24 hours
As I took my shirt off he commented on how great my boobs where. I responded with "thanks, I grew them myself"
I think I'm just gonna exercise my lungs and fingers. With bong hits and crochet. BECAUSE I AM A REAPONSIBLE ADULT DAMMIT!!
All I know is when I asked you how many fingers I was holding up, you said "Hippo"
Randomize
