I'm at work and it's 1:30. I need a beer. is that bad?
Welcome to every minute of my life.
my vag is singing 'hurts so good' by john mellencamp
Theres just something about looking at pictures of your dick in church that doesn't feel right
You couldn't hold yourhead up but you managed to unzip my zipper. That's skill..
you sat up and said "i'm the worst kind of roommate, the drunk kind"
I just drank til 6am then boned a 32 yr old that looks exactly like ET. Oh god.
We almost died tonight..we almost die every night. but tonight was the closest by far
we just got kicked out of the mexican restaurant. i have a full pitcher of margarita's hiding under my coat.
The trainer from the tech college told me that I would pass the first aid course so long as I turned up sober. Challenge accepted
You shouldn't do laundry high cus pink.
You know those twins i had a crush on in grade school? Just woke up between them. Best. Party. EVER.
She's like a solid nine. Well maybe not a tomorrow morning nine, but she's a nine right now and trying to take me home.
I never forget a pussy, even blackout me gives me that memory.
Everyone's impressed that I actually got pee all over his car since I'm a girl and they're a little curious..
I cannot belive our party caught on fire
Randomize
