butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
For his 21st I'm getting a fancy hotel that way he can at least sleep in a nice bathtub
Its only tuesday and I need a dd home from work. This is getting too easy.
And it just wouldn't be a Thursday night without me having to cuss out a foreigner. The streak continues.
That's why you NEVER put anything a stripper gave you in your mouth
I am downstairs in the bar now having a beer...actually I ordered two beers and placed one across from me in front of an open chair. I did this for appearance sake, so nobody knew I was double fisting all alone. I'm getting hungry now. I'm thinking of ordering two meals just to keep appearances up.
I have vodka soaked strawberries. My latest tarot card reading hinted at a lesbian/bisexual coming out. I doubt I survive the night.
i have an important question...can you drink in jail?
I feel like there should be a database and you screen your boyfriend's scrotum and all the fucked up shit they've done goes on file.
Definitely a Xanax and Jell-O shots kinda day...except my Jell-O shots are really just a big bowl of a Jell-O shot that I use a spoon to eat.
Dude just bought the table 3 bottles of champaign and broke one on the floor as his "signature" and he makes me want this recession hit harder
A duck just looked me in the eye whilst I peed in a lake. I feel so dirty.
I love standing in line at rite aid for 10 minutes being forced to talk to my ex's mom about life while I'm holding nothing but yeast infection cream
It took me twenty minutes to read that sentence.
All I said was okay...
I came twice AND he sent me home with edibles. I think he’s a keeper.
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