what do kids with lesbian moms do for father's day? like do you talk about it? is it awkward? do you get the butchy mom a card?
why is there a picture of someone wearing Tevas with socks taped on the wall?
this girl walked outta his room as i was walkin in to scottys and i just say " time for the walk of shame baby! whoooo!". she ran away
I am sleeping on the floor in your room so if you have sex in here just don't roll on me
Locked out of the apartment with just a box of wine way to begin the weekend.
I hate thxgiving break now because that totally means I'm not able to have sex for a week.
What do you mean how did you end up there? You told him he had a face you'd like to ride, that's a deal sealer in any language.
I have been referring to it as "thanks for getting out of me day" all week. Do you think they will still take me to brunch tomorrow?
He made me cum 7 times AND I nearly drowned him during that 69 in the back of a ford focus. Yeah I should get my gynocologist.
It'll be a romanticized airport meeting until I'm judged for sitting on his face in the terminal
He asked me how france is treating me
Tell him you got so much dick you may never come back to the US. That ought to keep him away
Although I'm glad you didn't let my climb in the sink, I really wish you would have let me pretend to be a duck in the shower for a little longer
Sobered up midsex and just went with it. After he tried cuddling and I awkwardly rolled out of the bed to find someone on the floor, apparently it was his room so he got to listen.
Hold on - sidebar. My best friend just threw a 40 pack of condoms through my window.
You hear the wildest shit in a Walmart bathroom.
Randomize
