Let me rephrase. Would it display my intentions too much if i walked all the way across my office and into the bathroom carrying my book
Listen, I'm 30. If it doesnt involve a super soaker and some chicken wings, you can count me out.
I was going through my mom's high school yearbook...almost half the people who signed it referred to her as "Karen Smokejoints", "Confused Karen", or drew a picture of a joint. I have never felt more like her daughter.
I'm really debating making a second facebook. Same name only with DRUNK at the end. That way I can keep the guys I only talk to when I'm drunk on that facebook and only go on it when im drunk.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you flashed my boyfriend last night so i tackled you to the floor. you may be a bit sore.
College freshman give noticeably better blowjobs by the 5th week of the semester.
made the entire pub sing the british national anthem, puked, rallied, then peed in a telephone booth and have pictures to prove it, taking tourism to another level since 2012.
Now I'm heckling that my belch is more exciting than their fireworks and I peed down the driveway.
Went to bed with a bowl of spaghetti O's on my chest, I make my own breakfast in bed. New level of laziness
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I found three vicadin and a pint of fireball with the note. In case of emergency drink me under their sink.
I think my liver has finally had enough and is going all Ashley-Judd-in-a-Lifetime-movie on me.
No, I barely made it home last nite. Kept telling cab driver I live across the street from Susan Sarandon?? Thank god her coop addy is posted online.
Every day I wake up and there is no spectacular morning wood waiting for me I get so sad.
I. Am. Not. Tattooing. My. Penis.
Eh, it could have been worse. I may or may not have been wearing a jedi cloak while getting my dick sucked.
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