we got a new version of the plan b at the pharmacy now. its called next choice. you would think they would come up with better names for these things.
new revelation: five guys for breakfast
new revelation: previous revelation not a good revelation
He was in me and said I can't believe this happened because of facebook. MOOD KILLER.
Yeah well my vagina has expectations too but they don't get met all the time.
Sarah likes to play this game where she leaves her thongs at every party. she hides them where hopefully gf's will find them. I caught her naked from the waste down in my freezer this morning
I could of sworn you were praying in the strip club.
Using Michelob Ultra as champagne.
Met Dan at the park for lunch and the guy parked next to us was getting a BJ the entire time. Way to make me feel like an inadequate girlfriend, random park skank. All Dan got was a double cheeseburger and a large iced tea...
What!? It's 7:30am on gameday. This keg is not going to drink itself.
im mad at you for telling me he ejaculated during "let it go." Thanks for ruining the song forever.
We should probably start extreme couponing for the morning after pill.
i now know why i keep getting pictures of poop. apparently someone put my number in a girls bathroom saying i am a poop lover.
you text any of them back? this is probably the most women you'll ever have texting you in your life. don't squander a good thing
Naked. Naked is my favorite color.
I seriously just had to blow dry my thong.
just woke up with a trucker hat, half a grilled cheese, and popcorn spread everywhere. last night must have been good.
Randomize
