Just heard someone use the phrase "slut mustard" in a sentence. Win.
Its Shannon Doherty lazy not Forest Whittaker lazy
You can tell alot about a person by their poo.. For example, he was a smoker.
Fist pumping is hard when country music is playing FYI but I am committed
he doesn't care that i have a boyfriend so why should i?
logic in its finest
Soup is not an acceptable meal before doing that many Jager bombs
At what point should i just give my brother a break and stop sleeping with his friends?
He said he wouldn't use a condom because he didn't want to kill anymore trees.
He completely dissapeared at the baseball game. We found him passed out at the hotel three hours later with souviner photos of himself at the top of the Sears Tower.
I totally just somersaulted to the bathroom to avoid moving out of my fetal position
I don't know if I should be concerned or impressed.
After seeing all of the pics during the trial, all I could think was "her vagina doesn't look THAT dangerous"
You told me that you were as fast as lightning and you wanted to race me. Then you faceplanted after falling down the stairs.
You had all day to plan ahead & get mixers, so whose fault is this sobriety?
what the fuck happend anyway? How did it go from smoothies after work to blacking out?
I'm with jana at walgreens picking out penis rings.... Did you know they sell vibrators at walgreens? Wtf?
Randomize
