I just went in my fridge and said to my turkey "see you thursday". I seriously have issues
I saw a seagull swallow a hot-dog whole today, it reminded me of you.
Her brother is deaf.
no wonder she was so good with her hands
This guy just showed us his webbed feet to prove that his son was actually his son
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This guys mom bought us a 24 pack and drove me and 8 others to a frat house... Hello moms weekend.
I just passed a truck with its bed lined with a tarp and filled with water with six dudes chilling in the back driving through campus. That looks fun.
Well after we were arrested you just kept chanting "Like a good neighbor state farm is there"
I decided not to look up the nudes, because I believe that there is a line, and that mocking my old classmate's horrid nudes alone crosses that line.
I've entered the world of uncircumcised penises. It's disgusting.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He said the main reason he fucked me was cause of my storm trooper tattoo. IT ATTRACHES ALL THE HOT NERDS
I woke up and sent him a text that said 'I'm sorry forever'
I slept naked last night on stolen pillows. I felt like a golden goddess.
We ate sushi in a hospital bed, then fucked in a bathroom while I wore a gown. Pretty sure she's the one
I really wish you were home bc youre the only friend I could ask to use an at home waxing kit on my vagina. I need you.
I used to shoot steroids in my ass but for a totally different reason
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