addddeeerrraaaallll.
ok i'm not sure if that was a success statement or a cry for help.
You know if a vagina was a face, it'd be ugly as hell...
I thought at least he would want to exchange numbers after he tried to put it in my bum
benefit of terrorism--they won't let you buy random one way plane tickets to random parts of the country for no reason nonmatter how high you are.
Just walked by a guy on campus YELLING 'Im still hammered'
it was such a weird mix, KFC and penis
DUDE, DID YOU KNOW YOU CAN JUST RENT AN ELEPHANT???
Oh God.
Call me when you get up. This hang-over is like dismantling a bomb: I need someone to talk me through it.
When you sober up and come in here, I'm in your bed because you pissed on me in mine. So fuck. Off.
Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
Yeah, surprised you made it on time this morning. Remarkable, considering 2 hours ago you were pretending to be talking window curtains.
His balls are like really small, like dog sized balls. It was a weird discovery. Ever done a guy with dog sized balls?
Is it weird that the best sex I've ever had was to Barbara Streisand's Christmas album?
I just bought a blender and 120 pizza rolls. Bring tequila.
and please, if you feel the urge to call me crying tomorrow night, do so. i will be home bored and sober.
Randomize
