What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
i threw up in a trash can last night at kellys irish times. but in a trash can because i'm a lady
why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
Oh my god, I hid a wine bottle in my boot.
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Not a single person will look me in the eye. Last night must've been bad.
It's 4PM and I'm finally awake.. I'm covered in dog fur and shame. I'd say it counts as a good night.
Sometime between a drunk guy asking me if I'm a Beach person or a lake person WHILE HIS HAND WAS IN HIS FUCKING PANTS or breaking up a lady fight over peewee football league I started to reevaluate my life and self
its warm now so i can go back to sleeping with guys based on their fuckability rather than how much warmth they generate.
He wheeled me around walmart in a cart, and stole at least 30 dollars of junior mints fpr me. Best date ever.
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He refused to pierce my nipples, saying they are the best he's ever seen and that blemishing them would be a crime
I'll be thirty in eight months. I think my goal is too stop changing my pants in the parking lot at work by then.
He told me to leave him behind and bury him in his batman pajamas. So two lessons I guess, don't give Tom whiskey and don't touch his daddy issues with a twenty nine and a half foot pole.
Just realized tomorrow is the anniversary of the time Dean and I glued DJ's leg back together with Neosporin and an Ace bandage. I'm bringing red velvet cupcakes to the party to celebrate.
And on the 323rd day without sex, God finally said let there be light...or love?
Oh, did your mom say anything else about my butt?
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