I judge my drunkenness on my brickbreaker playing skills. I'm winning. Suck it.
As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
Whoa. I woke up to 10 new text messages. All about bacon.
I miss being able to drink at 11am just cause it was sunny outside.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she won't be coming home tonight because she tried stealing a baby giraffe from the zoo
Not rlly sure. Might just drink and sleep. Gotta wake up for my last rabies shot lol
I lost a little respect for your boyfriend when I learned that he has a scar from a Cheerio.
On a toatally unrelated note, I see music in my hair
Let's get drunk and go to Walmart and just tackle people at random.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i think you lost all your innocence when you were caught straddling a fence in your thong & cowboy boots by the 40 year old apartment manager
Man. Apparently I blacked out between the 4th margarita and my air mattress. Asleep in my jeans at 10pm. Mom outdrank me again.
COCAINE IS GR8
I guess you could say the date didn’t go so well since I was drunkenly Snapchatting with my ex by the end of it.
When they said they were gonna tattoo each other's gamer tags on their asses, I knew I no longer had a boyfriend.
Drunk man just fell out of said wheelchair
Randomize