i finally understand why guys leave in the middle of the night.......they got it right
she was definitely wearing a bumpit. i think it was the hollywood bumpit. i told her that i lived with my parents to get outta taking her home.
Isn't the perk of being in a relationship not having to put in effort for sex?
i knew it was time to leave the bar when i caught myself doing karate dance moves with a married man.
This old guy just saw me toking on my bubbler before I go to the dentist. He gave me the nod.
Woke up w/ the same freshman as last Saturday but we were sober this time. Is that a relationship?
If you end up at a gay bar on a tuesday night in steelers pjs, does that mean youve hit rock bottom?
You stood outside his house all night throwing your sister's leftover Easter eggs and singing 'now you're just somebody that I used to blow'
I figured out why her friends always say g is for god when she leaves with someone. She wears a double g cup bra
As an added realisation of today. If we used the last time I got laid as a conceiving date I would have a two week old baby. It's been too long...
He got me a cake that said " Congratulations on the dick "
WHAT HAS MY LIFE COME TO I'M MAKING A SCARF FOR A PENIS
I saw a spider on my bed and my first reaction was to throw my weed bag to safety
Chili is not acceptable fuck buddy food.
She made me baby bird juul smoke to her while we were fucking
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