Sexting assembly today. Fuck yes
i just saw someone i know on True Life. i need new friends.
She transformed our coors light pitcher we stole from the bar into a fruit basket...
just saw a girl come out of the tanning bed room on crutches, now thats determination
Please return the baby Jesus and sheep to the quad
I dont think she was a real nurse but she was good at it. wish I rememebrd her name
I opened my package from my mom today. She put four bottles of tequila in the bottom under my ducky slippers. She knows me way to well.
He said bring my breathalyzer and Anna's pepper spray, I didn't ask questions
Any idea why the fuck i would replace all the music on my ipod with the fucking Goosebumps theme song?!?
Apparently drunk you is really nostalgic?
He managed to find a wheel chair and a super mario hat, now hes rolling around screaming "real life mario kart!"
Right when he asked me if I was on birth control my dad walked in. This is my fate.
Don't worry, I'm sure your thrusting skills are on point.
So red wine goes with eggs, right? Because that's all I have in the house to cook and the drinking options are either wine or scotch
I’m not closing myself off the to the possibility of making a bad life choice.
Our faces when the strip club was closed looked like the grinch just stole Christmas ☹️
Randomize
