so the chest pain/shortness of breath/overdose guy we just took to tm hospital is now running down market street from the police in a gown holding his iv.
so then we both started to do the walk of shame and she didnt realize we had fucked in her apartment until some lady said hi to her in the elevator
you didnt stop her?
too entertaining
So you started off by saying "no homo," but patting his crotch and saying his jeans fit him wonderfully may have overshadowed that.
alcohol turns me into mario batali of easy mac
Adams eating in the shower, he says it's one of his favorite places to eat. Btw it's milanos he's eating, he says he loves italy too.
He poured syrup on all those broken dishes because "syrup is magical, and by the time we wake up, they'll be fixed."
you were passed out snoring, face down with all your clothes still on and 20 minutes later you sat up and said "FUCK YES" and then passed out again.
All I remember is apologizing to his sister for being a bad influence while I was throwing up into a big gulp cup.
Your lack of great college experience of margaritas and foam parties scares me
Either im tripping real hard, or there's a legit land shark in my apartment.
On the 3rd day, she mixed sangria and orange juice and saw that it was good.
You're gonna be proud in the future that you fucked the next bill gates
I think I may have just taught my whole hall how to give a good blow job. So this is college.
You told us that you were going to become a 'new man' and threw your tv set out of a window.
I woke up at 4am because the neighbors cat managed to sneak into my bed. HOW THE FUCK DOES THIS STUFF HAPPEN TO
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