please say your awake. the girl i brought home last night...any idea on a name? she isnt up yet...
so i did it. i barked while i was ejaculating. not a word was said by either of us afterwards.
so how much did i say i owed you?
$5 and a new fuck buddy.
took acid and went on safebus. all the lights were off except the adds. swear to god it was a submarine
No I'm not coming over. That Bob Ross drinking game is too intense.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
WHAT THE FUCK. SUCH A BAD IDEA. YOU'RE NO LONGER IN CHARGE OF NOSE SUBSTANCES.
He told me that if I were a guy he'd go gay for me. Honestly don't know how to take that.
What's great about college is that i can eat chocolate cereal for every meal and call it a money saving technique.
Texas State Troopers call you ma'am even when they arrest you for public nudity and after you've puked on their cruiser. Country boys raised right.
I just traded ecstasy for trapeze lessons...you in?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Im fairly sure two chicks roofied me last night. Suckers. I love free drugs.
Fuck you, if it wasn't for us going to the city, she would be using me as a human sex toy all day.
I've started brushing my teeth at 6pm, because honestly alcohol is the only thing I consume after that
Drove by a guy getting road head, midday on O Street. That could be us, but you won't let me in your pants when you drive.
The housekeeper found my huge dildo under the bathroom sink, and another in the living room. I can't get much more single than this.
What do you do when you legitimately find a hidden sex dungeon in your parents basement next to your bedroom!!?
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