I'm in love with you.
huh?
Don't be nervous. I'm just saying - if you had a dick, I'd suck it.
Im partying with a unicorn. You don't even know.
I put my bosses number in my phone as "Do not call," I shouldve known my drunk curiosity would overcome any desire I had to keep my job.
again?
soooo.. i guess the cop said he'd drop the charges if i go to some AA meetings and i said fuck AA. not one of my better choices.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I coulnt tell if he was cumming or if I was throwing up
4 feet of snow. teaching the cats how to snow swim. throwing them off the porch and seeing what happens.
A little, yeah. We were stealing firewood from the neighbors (drunk), and figured it would be 10 times harder to be angry with us if we got caught if we were naked, and 100% more hilarious.
the fact that you have a guy named the "i want you to tie me up and fuck me" guy speaks volumes about your life.
Anddon't worry about me I have my Darth Vader flashlight
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Bacardi 151 is like a past nightmare I'm still curious about
WE HAVE WINE WHERE ARE YOU GUYS WE ARE BY THE GIANT EAGLE
I saved a sauce packet from taco bell that said "Free me" to use in my next break up.
I didn't really understand how big 10 inches is. Now I know.
Puking out the window is really hard when you're the one driving.
i love how you, my friend, sends me a picture of herself wearing a shirt that says "i am dead inside" and i'm just like "awww baby you're so cute"
that's just solidarity
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