Thats how high i was. The fact that he looked like Seth Rogan was apparently a good thing.
he just started chanting dark meat! dark meat! out of no where.
Did you pluck my eyebrows one night when I passed out?
She took a picture of me when she thought I was sleeping. I don't know whether to be amused or scared.
Mcdonalds hasn't even finished serving breakfast yet and u two are getting drunk?
I just pulled a piece of cookie out of my bra in the middle of class. I'm forever alone.
Don't bang him. The amount of Jack Johnson he listens to is embarrassing for even a white person.
You need to let him know my only agenda is coke and sadness.
Im going to bed. I'm seeing 7 of everything and my world smells like gravy
I have one of those hangovers where you visualize how awesome it would be to climb in your fridge and drink glacier water
And all I ask is the occasional "welcome home from work" blowjob.....and for you to fold my laundry. I hate folding laundry
Done deal I'm dying it right at this moment. I'll need a red Speedo and a half shirt that is extremely tight. Like nipple tight.
im so sad I can't openly talk about acid tab Sundays
How does one get out of sexting without being rude? I'm trying to watch Downtown Abbey
He was shirtless in my yard saying he was jesus
Randomize
