a strip club that doesn't allow touching or asking for sex... whats the point?
unless her vagina can tell me my horoscope in sign language, I'm not going.
he made me stop in the middle of the blowjob to turn the tv towrds him. i then proceeded when he stopped me again to get him the remote. fuck me.
the bar told me i would have to take an hour break so they could wash the shot glasses
I just had a contest with the toilet to see who could hold their breath longest.
I won
It wasn't so much skinny dipping. It more like skinny walking...through a fountain.
If that's all it takes to cure your hangovers then you need to drink more.
The bag I'm bringing home for the weekend: a change of clothes, workout shoes, and sex toys, that's it.
They said you bought the guy a shot and was talking about being Greek and then all of the sudden just puked all in their pitcher of beer and got kicked out of the bar.
Are the transvestites working the counter tonight? Last time I was there they gave me love advice.
I've been smoking weed using candles all week and I just found a lighter. This may truly be the happiest moment of my life. It's embarrassing how excited I got
That tampon felt like a stick in my vagina, I am never making a drunken tampon choice again. Friends don't let friends choose tampons drunk.
You brought a jar of mayonnaise to bed. It doesn't get any worse than that.
But don't thank me for faking being asleep, if I was the real wing man, I would have left the bed
True friendship: When you can hold your best friend's hair and still eat your Stromboli at the same time.
Last night was just a whirlwind of Mario Brothers and sex.
Randomize
