I wonder how many times I can be hungover in one day
When I came in she was screaming "boundaries!" at the cat because it was trying to eat her pizza rolls.
We have a hundred jello shots. Lines will be crossed.
are you aware you chucked your pizza at a girl's face after the bar last night?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Lets just not get arrested. That might put a damper on everything. I only say that cause i've almost been arrested.
She just admitted to me that she was a pinecone.
You were walking around in your swim suit, an open robe, snow boots and a death grip on that handel of captain morgan.
More cowboy butts than you can shake a stick at, oh joy.
I feel so nauseous and all I want is string cheese. My life never makes sense.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't handle dick pics with conversational captions
Literally too hungover to clean. I'll get the frosting off the table tomorrow, ok?
Also I'm eating leftovers with a pair of bullet removal forceps (unused) because I don't have a fork.
Owwwww. Yeah. I can barely move unless Im high on vicodin. We are bad at drinking/balancing. We will be the first to break hips and have to go into a home.
Do we have to do this party tonight? I'm worried my bed will miss me...
Did I literally just offer a blowjob for help moving? Yes. Yes, I did.
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