Uhhh...do I owe you any money? Or an apology? Or anything?
why do all the strippers look like they came from fraggle rock
And just when I was about to fall asleep, he hit me in the face, and claimed he's a "violent sleeper".
We are probably going to have to use your boobs as currency to get this done
Our new goal for this summer is to fuck so hard we lose his security deposit.
Well, I now know how many glasses of wine it takes for me to fuck my neighbor.
Don't let her tell you any different. She licked the balls of my hamster for that $100. It was a group bet. She won.
As he walked by me and gave me his dreamy smile full of dimples all i could think was 'I gave you chlamydia'.
He put a canoe in the lazy river at the water and started paddling away from security
He was "hot guy in the dark". One of us had to sleep with him. I took the bullet you're welcome.
I was about to take him home and fuck his brains out but then the police came and arrested him for the stolen credit card he had been buying me drinks with all night...
You can't break up with me. I brought you to see Beyoncé.
WINE AND FILM. TALK ABOUT AN UPGRADE FROM NETFLIX AND CHILL.
He fired me, I fucked his wife, we're even I think...
you tried to make the parrot smoke your joint
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