I'm a simple man, with a social life most psychopaths would cringe at
Cops showed up at 4 am to address a noise complaint and she called them pussies for not doing shots with us.
After I told my husband the docter shot me in the ass, he said - oh they can but I can't?!
My boyfriend just sent me flowers. I am now crying at the fact i fucked my fat neighbor. God please help me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
seriously, i am too high for the omelet station to be playing Being For The Benefit Of Mr Kite at 7am
Also I'm 95 percent positive we ate food naked together
He apologized for his naked psychotic episode and then we had goodbye sex on his sailboat
The black hole just entered the party man, I can literally see guys starting to move towards her.
I feel like there should be a database and you screen your boyfriend's scrotum and all the fucked up shit they've done goes on file.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I know it sounds all cute and shit that I wanted him to be with me last night, but it's not cute. I just wanted to fuck.
I sent you a snap of me in the bath, and you sent me a snap of a taco. An actual taco.
She's like the Jonah Hill of sorority sisters.
i got pulled over completely sober but looking like death. dick cop made me do a field sobriety test. he also said "no sober person could have 7 BK bags"
You started having a threesome right in front of me.
lololol that's what happened?
Stephanie looked me right in the eye while she was going down on you. It made me really uncomfortable.
And on the 323rd day without sex, God finally said let there be light...or love?
Randomize