You know I'm really starting to enjoy being everyones first gay experience
he squeezed my boobs like he didn't know what else to do with them, then turned down head...
told you he was gay.
I was in holding with a guy that got a DUI on a hover round. He was so nice. We're hanging out tonight.
just once i'd like the "right thing" and the "topless thing" to be the SAME THING
He kept spanking me and talking about biomedical science.
Aw, you fucked a pre-med? you're moving up in the world!
This morning is cloudy with a high chance of vomiting all over the dentist. Stay tuned for further updates.
I'll always be here to give you immoral support.
Just so you know, if you are not feeling well today it's cause you drank a gatorade bottle full of highlighter fluid.
My mom said she saw you at the bar last night and asked how you were. She said, you replied with, "Oh you know, just knocked up."
Figured I'd get right to the point
Casually brushing the Bacardi out of my hair. It's a good time to ponder regretting everything that happened last night.
There was a trampoline and tequila. It was glorious.
She invited me to Bikini Yoga with her friends. Sounds promising.
HAPPY AIDS-LESS FOURTH OF JULY YOU HEALTHY FUCK
A respectable fucking: good but like I don't want to get kicked out of my hotel room
he's figured out my code; what are you doing = I haven't found a better dick yet
Randomize
