I fink we're distracting them from bumping the proverbial uglies
i wish i could watch tv and lissten to music at the same time...but still understand both
i think otters can do that
I managed to throw up 90 feet under water, just removed my breathing tube, puked, put it back in. All inclusive is the way to go.
we could easily be the first people to smoke 3 bowls and pound a Four Loco before goin on a tour of the Tillamook cheese factory
can I come stay the night
yeah, but no sex tonight
I'll stay home
Dude, I couldn't come. She sounded like a goddamn dying walrus.
Retelling stories from our semester makes me realize we need to get tested for herpes.
I don't know which is a more impressive stolen object. The couch from a sheer logistical viewpoint, or the parking meter because i'm pretty sure that's a federal offence.
We all know tonight is going to end like every other night with you. drunk, pantless and confused. Dont try to switch things up.
First of all, I don't like eggnog. Second of all too much rum is all bad. And thirdly I'm not there to sit in your lap and pretend you are Santa and I've been a bad girl.
A very confused plastic surgeon just called. Apparently I called asking how much it costs to get a vodka funnel installed straight to my brain...
I love getting kicked out of places. Its like winning a little league game
And the sexual frustration is like I'm wearing a damn horcrux
No you just wanted to pass out in your hallway because your room was too far away
I honestly think sometimes all you need is a $2 alcoholic punch poured from a jug into a big glass to feel better. I guess abblebees is my new problematic fav
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