They use the phrase "final warning" so often the words have lost all meaning.
During sex he started singing that song in Forgetting Sarah Marshall--"Inside of You"--by Russell Brand
9 beers later and she still looks like Gary Busey.
I just beer bonged a sparks. You better get your ass over here because no one is on my level yet
this is the fifth day in a row i've woken up after 3 pm, hungover. I might die when snowmageddon is finally over and we have to go back to class. my liver wont know how to take it.
Going to get yelled at but I labeled the reel "four dried up sluts decide going to the middle east to shop during a war is the best idea ever"
if you wouldnt have been fucking me hard and crazy like that then my bed wouldn't have broke. you owe me 600.
so you admit it was good then??
Somehow me showing up to/breaking into her house only to find I was a week early for the party became a night of weed cookies and sex.
Can't promise anything, there's vodka in my thermos
Yeah dude, it's amazing. Be careful though, that shit is really really intense. Like it's way more intense than normal shit...
I took two and feel like crushed diamonds spread over glazing marmalade
We picked up some guys dressed as shamrocks at taco bell. I will text you with further information.
when in doubt, mount your coworker in the staff room.
It's situations like these that make me climb out of windows
ANIME MEN ARE MAKING ME QUESTION MY SEXUALITY AGAIN
the most terrified I've ever been was seeing Danny Devito squirming on the ground in this underwear, covered in hand sanitizer, completely hairless
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