I apparently took a 45 minute shower, and became best friends with his mom.
Wow i just got reported to security for being a homeless person trying to break into the library.
i awoke yet another morning with penis breath. ive been so generous santa has to bring me a shit ton of presents
We've shared an experience, my friend. I, too, have talked on the phone with a parent while giving a handjob
Found out that it IS actually possible to get road head from somebody in the back seat
Lol. No. We cannot eat chicken while we have sex. No.
I feel a bullet train of disappointment headed in your direction.
i woke up and saw you were brushing his hair naked. I can never pass out around you, man.
You started drinking at 2:30, did you really think you would be able to remember?
That ACT prep teacher knew i was hung. I could see it in her eyes.
Sean slept in the bushes beside my house again. Any reason he kept screaming/slurring 'it was all a bunch of goddamn lies' through out the night?
I'll be home soonish I need 4th of July sex, it's the American thing to do.
And one groomsman rode a suitcase cart like a skateboard until he crashed and took out a piece of sheet rock. Later he pulled out his nuts.
Just discovered I was so fucked up last night I called in sick to work... TWICE
Don't worry about it too much, but I just committed us to possibly raising a kid
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