what's the vibe there?
extraordinary amounts of gine
I realized today that the only reason you made out with Travis is because he has nice teeth
two of my INSANE ex girlfriends just texted me saying their coming over because im home alone. needless to say, im deleting my twitter.
she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head
she has to be all "alternative"
she just blew up the empty bag of wine and used it as a floatation device.
Can we do a version of last night where I actually remember shit?
And before you knew it they were calling me the pussy usher or something like that
I woke up spooning with a broom that someone taped a mustache too..i need to stop starting my nights by drinking "hangover" wine.
Oh btw I learned how to say "my penis is a flamethrower" in German. Tonights gonna be fun
OMG THE KID WHO TRIED TO MAKE OUT AT THE BAR WITH ME IS SITTIG NEXT TO ME IN THE AIRPORT. WHY LIFE WHY???
You can't just take out your bong for hits in public places... That's what pipes are for. You've got to be stealthier.
No, it's okay because this is the city of trees.
YOU'VE ALREADY BEEN BUSTED MORE THAN ONCE. THAT'S NOT A VALID EXCUSE FOR BONG HITS IN COFFEE GARDEN
all I know is this drummer better stop eye fucking me while he plays cowbell. it is way too early for that.
I'm beginning a new chapter of my life in which our fridge will always be stocked with jello shots. I'm excited to embark down this road to fruity, semi-solid alcoholism.
And speaking of good acting I may have a sex tape now
I am watching Wayne Gretzky and Alexander oveckhin play video games for charity. What is life right now.
Randomize
