I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
im in a room full of women tattooing each others tits. i hope i remember this tomorrow
now I regret adding my aunt on facebook. she remnded me today on my wall about the importance of checking my stools for blood since I have diaherria.
I woke up 25 minutes ago and have been high for 20. Impressive?
found your viking helmet in the parking lot this morning, its missing a horn. There was still liquor in the remaining horn. shots from a viking helmet should be mandatory.
I'm so proud of your ability to turn my Charlie horse last night into anal sex.
shes got that 'its my party i can do meth if i want to' mentality. i like that.
someone just sent me a bong wrapped in christmas paper in the mail. signed 'santa'.
I started sorting laundry at 6 am. He finally got the hint and left
Did you pour a hundred fucking pounds of sand in my car last night?
lol... you weighed it?
My pubes were yanked out by the root when they got caught in the condom. I think it's time for a bikini wax.
If Denver makes it to the Super Bowl I'll quit drinking. So I'm pretty much stocking up on booze
In honor of Randy Savage we're wearing spandex and handing out slim jim's with option to suplex. Get behind it
Why is the toilet broken? Why did I wake up naked in the shower, hugging a bath mat? WHY IS THE TOILET BROKEN?
Is it just clogged or something?
No! There are actual chunks of toilet on the floor.
I'm totes in the mood to go home and like blindly inhale dangerous amounts of porn
Randomize
