Sandra Bullock looks like the most recent Michael Jackson
I'm pregaming with America's Best Dance Crew.
Do a shot everytime Lil' Mama mispronounces a word.
I always know the weekend is over when the real license comes out and the fake goes back into the hiding spot.
It must be illegal for me to be this drunk in front of this many children
The cop was more concerned with the fact I had cowboy boots on with shorts than the fact we were under age
And at least you didn't have a dinner of Ranch Pringles and Double Stuff Oreos. I forgot that part of being single.
He shit in a sock dude, you can't come back from that
Also can you rate on a scale of zero to jesus restraining order christ how creepy it is that he found a porn star that looks like me and has watched all the porn that she's been in
Hooked up with a guy resembling a bearded Cher. I need the lenses on my beer goggles fixed. Pronto.
put something nutritious in your body. AND NOT JUST THAT JOINT.
Ok she stopped using her fork and knife and is legit eating that steak using her hands.
Look, the coffee machine died a noble death. It was the way it would have wanted to go. It was a mercy exploding, really.
We literally laid down in the back of my car and had sex in a parking lot and it was in the top 3 best moral-less decisions I've made.
She was all for the threesome til I showed her a pic of my boyfriend. I think I should re-evaluate my life decisions.
ok first of all what the fuck
Randomize
